I'm splitting this up into sections since it would be too long in one blog.
Where are all the good men? My coworker and I have been talking about men and how hard it is to find a decent guy these days. It seems that as we share stories about men we've dated, last night's dates, or even the male friends in our lives...we're left wondering, where the heck are the good ones? Every time my girlfriends and I go out, we do meet some pretty friendly guys out there and end up joining their party. For the most part, they are decent to look at and polite. But there ends the positives. Even the ones we meet through friends, parties, or events. We're nice, but not stupid. Most of the time, we just let you think your deceiving us. (This reminds me about why I think most girls always go for the jerks instead of the nice guys...another discussion some other day). But seriously? We know what you're doing when you put your hand on our back and lean over to whisper in our ear. We know why you keeping buying us drinks, and it isn't because we're all that thirsty. And we know that although you nod and smile, you can't really hear what we're saying over the loud techno music at Lima. But we continue to talk to you, partially out of boredom, and the other half hoping that maybe you'll impress us with something new. Then again, we always leave at the end of the night laughing at how lame the men are. Unimpressive. So where are all the good men?
Most men are after your body and the pleasure they'll get from it--your personality, however pleasant or annoying, just happens to come with it:
I was talking to a male friend about bars and women. He is the first guy I've ever met to tell me that he goes to bars just to meet new people, not get laid. The girls in the room laughed in disbelief. My friend is a great guy but give me a break--the majority of men out there are not out there trying to add more facebook friends. Take the bar or club scene, any man you meet is probably not interested in your "brain" unless your brain bounces the same way your chest and ass do on the dance floor. The bar or club is noisy, packed and probably too hot to really have a conversation--comfortably to say the least. Wake up women. Before he has even sauntered over to you, he has already assessed how hot, available and easy (but clean) you are--and how horny he is. If he thinks your worth the time, he'll smile and say hello. (and hopefully not use some lame pickup line) I'm not saying that all men are shallow, horny teenagers. But remember where you are. Most likely he's not at a networking function for work and you hold a Senior VP position. So why go up to you? As far as I know, it's still impossible to tell if you've got a killer brain from across the dance floor. If you still disagree, consider this, how many men have you seen go up to someone they consider ugly/fat/weird/etc and hold a conversation?
For the most part, if you two are talking, he's thinking he's going to get lucky either that night or 2 dates from now. Or maybe he just wants to cop a feel or get you to do something for him while he's out tonight. Whatever the reason--they could care less if you're smart, he's not there to give you a test.
Just because he's asking for your number at the end of the event, party, night, etc-- don't think it's because he wants to have lunch and make a new friend. He says you're cool and you two should hang out. Ugh, I hate the phrase "hanging out." Its over used nowadays. It's made it so much easier for men to ask you out without asking you out. So if you happen to turn them down, they don't look as bad. Okay yes, he takes you to lunch, and he asks you to tell him about yourself--but only so he knows exactly what you want and how to make you think he is what you want. He has plenty of friends. They are the ones he came with remember? Most men aren't really out there looking to add more women to their list of friends. If he were, you'd have met his friends and hung out with them. After he gets some, you'll be lucky to even find your panties before he's out the door or has started up your car for you. And while you're walking away excited to get back so you can tell your friends how you both had an amazing connection, how he was so attentive to your needs, listened to every word you said, and asked you hundreds of questions about yourself during dinner--he's probably high-fiving his buds and texting the other girl he met last night at another bar. It's all for the purpose of getting you into the sack. Sure, he now calls you a friend--of course, it's better than calling you his slut to your face.
I'm starting to realize why the older men I knew eventually got bored when us girls were 18 years old. After awhile, eye candy just gets boring and you realize the airheads are just taking up space as they wander around looking for the next party. Believe it or not, men do become bored--even if you are smokin' hot. No guy wants to feel like he's babysitting. He might like that you're 18 and initially, you will be cute and amusing to him when you rant over how you can't believe Stacey did that and Amanda is wearing that ugly outfit. It might have more to do with the booty shorts your wearing with the word Pink written across your behind than his interest in Stacey, Mandy or Candy--unless you're describing a threesome. But eventually, he'll want you to shut up and just let your body speak. And once he's over the body, he'll kick it to the curb and find the next hot thing. Unless you're in it for the "same purposes," move on...
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