Where are all the good men? I'm finding a lot of lazy, wandering bums...
Even in the lightest of conversations, say at a bar, I realized that they have no ambition or direction. This is also true for men I've known for quite some time now. I'm 25 years old. I'm not looking for a 40-year old, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for a man who's already had his share of 18 year-olds and is ready to settle down with a woman who isn't brain dead. (Although this statement makes me laugh since I doubt that any man would ever say he's had enough of bouncy 18 year-olds.) I'm young and there's still so much I want to do in life before I really start thinking about settling anywhere or with anyone. But I am looking for a 25-30 year old who has his shit together, or at least getting there. It seems that the men I talk or meet nowadays are wandering aimlessly, hopping on whatever comes their way. Spur of the moment trips, 24-hour drink fests, and hours of video games with the pot within arm's reach and a beer on the side. They make their way into work red-eyed and smelling of stale beer. They get the paycheck only to spin it back into beer pong nights and making it rain in the clubs.
I admit, I've had my share of wild days and still plan on having more. There's nothing wrong with the aforementioned activities. Hey, if you enjoy it, do it while you're young and still able. That's what being young is all about. I'm actually not dissing the activities but it's the blank stares that come after you ask, "Yea but what else do you like or want to do when you're not drunk, high or playing Xbox??" that drive me insane. I love going out with my friends and having a great night out on the town. I love beer and I love dancing. But I also do know where I want to be and I'm working on getting there. You ask these men what they want and they can't tell you. They leave it open saying "I'm taking a step back to see what I'm interested in and what I'm really passionate about." If any man ever says that to you, it's code for "I don't have a f**** clue but I can't admit that that without sounding like a loser." I'd probably respect you more if you just came out and said just so.
I met this guy at a party. He was nice and polite and didn't give me that creepy vibe. But then I asked what he liked to do and he told me. So I don't blast him on the web, I can't tell you what he does exactly. But I'll say it's quite similar to teaching the homeless how to sew just in case they ever get a job offer in a sweatshop. And I asked, okay, so you're passionate about helping "homeless" people. (Homeless is just a sub so don't think I'm ragging on them) His response was yea, they're fun to hang around and it's okay for now. Okay, I'm a bit relieved--this job is only temporary. I won't be dating a guy who's crazy about helping homeless people develop a skill they will never use unless they're in China. So I'm waiting for the next response. Okay...what is the plan after? His response: Eh gonna wait and see what hits me. Yea, what should hit you is my hand you bum. You're in your mid to late twenties, you need to at least have a damn clue about what you want. I'm not expecting an outline of your exact activities for the next 5, 10 or 15 years.
Okay, this is where I do admit that not all men are without ambition. Some do I have a clue about what they want to do or what they don't want to do at least. One of my friends wants to go back to school. But explain to me again why the man I know is working at X place and blowing it on hefty bar tabs? It's worse if you already know and you're not even moving heat! If you clearly know this isn't what you want and you're just doing it to kill time, I don't see myself with you. I need a man who can offer something more substantial, concrete, and most of all, someone with a plan and making moves. Not a bum who is okay coasting. Just like a man wouldn't bring a slut back home to show Mom, I wouldn't bring a bum back home to visit my dead dog.
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